Thursday, May 27, 2010

Summertime!!!

Not only is it a great song but it is also a great time of year. The kids are getting really excited about school ending and getting to be at their grandmothers house all day. ( a summer of being spoiled I guess makes anyone happy) I am getting excited that Baseball season is almost over and my little garden is starting to produce veggies. We are hoping to make and can our own pasta sauce and salsa this year. I have been checking the plants everyday for growth and weeds and hope that they will repay me for my kindness by creating lots of food for me to eat!!!!!!! I am hoping that we get a chance for a mini vacation and some down time with the kids over the next two months. I honestly need it. Well, on with the seasonal updates.

Beau: Has ended the third grade wonderfully. He did really well in chess club and earn lots of medals. He is also waiting to hear how his light pollution science project did at the fair. Right now he is trying to teach himself how to do yoyo tricks and stands in front of me swinging that thing around. I have managed to not get a black eye but you know it will happen. He is doing great as the third baseman on his team and is looking forward to more golf time. He is also proving to be so helpful with the little ones and with doing simple chores......I guess that means he needs to start getting an allowance.

Princess: It is amazing how much more vocal this girl is becoming everyday. She is still shy in public but in the house she is a motor mouth. It just keeps going and going. Now I know how everyone else in the world feels when they are around me. She has also progressed so well in Pre-K and has been accepted into the local pre-K program in town for next year. This one has no uniforms so I am excited about not having to keep white polos white. She is going to be starting a week long swimming class and then her Amma will be helping her all summer with swimming. Maybe she is taking the princess and the frog thing too far.

Link- Oh man, this boy is wearing me out. Literally. He does not have a walk button only a run and jump one. He is using more and more words each week and is even starting to sing the ABC and Twinkle Twinkle Songs. He still worships his big brother, so much so that when B is not using the yoyo Link has it and flings it around at me. It is so cute!!!!! He is starting to become more aware when he is stinky and we are hoping that this is a sign that he will be ready to start potty training in a few weeks or months. I am so over diapers. It has been 9 years of changings!!!!!!!!!

Mike- Is still getting things ready to start graduate school in the fall and he is still rocking it as a producer of the morning show on KARN. He is still having some problems with his leg but we are hoping to make through this year without an ICU trip. Heaven knows we are still paying for the last one. Oh and he is still the perfect man for this woman!

Me- I am now 30. It is not fun and I am not happy about it but with a family like mine it can only mean that I am going to love the next 10 years. Now that my kids are getting older I am starting to realize that I have zero hobbies or pasttimes besides reading that do not involve my kids in some way. I craft but on projects for the kids, I bake but for the kids, I do lots of things but for the kids. I have come to realize that I like it that way. Mike still spoils me rotten and "forces" me to break out of routines and try new things for myself and that makes me love him even more. Really, I am one blessed woman.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Still figuring things out

So, I was sitting in the park watching princess and link playing and started to think about the past year of our lives and how things have turn out for us. Our adoption had a lot of drama involved that stretched it out but it is over and done with and we cannot be hurt by it anymore. As I was watching them climb the ladder to the slide I remembered the first meeting we had as a family. We checked Beau out of school early to meet his new brother and sister and mike and I were so nervous. We decided to have a play date at the park by our house so that if something happened we would be close to home. Mike and I had already met Princess one time before but due to the previously mentioned drama had yet to meet link. He was the one I was most worried about because of his “health issues” I say this while rolling my eyes because there was nothing wrong with him. Ever. I remember how it felt, how emotional it was to see all of my kids together. I had dreamed of this moment for over 5 years, dreamed of the moment that I would meet my missing children and welcome them to our little family. But you have heard all this before so let me move on. So there they are playing and of course arguing over who gets to slide first and I realize how lucky we are. We adopted foster children from the state and when you are preparing to adopt from the state you are taught to prepare yourself for some really serious things and behaviors. We knew we would not have a bunch of stuff because our kids were still really young and had “luckily” been put into the states custody while really young. However, we still had things to deal with such as trust issues, adjustment, healing and other things too. I don’t know if it is the 3 years of foster parenting or having had beau at a young age or our faith that has made this so easy and seemingly painless.
To look at us as a family you would probably never know that we have only known each other for a year or that two of the children had been in foster care for the beginning of their lives. That is why every once in awhile I get knocked in the side of the head. Sometimes when I am frustrated by the fact that princess or link have still not learned not to do this or that I have to remember that they have only been learning discipline and structure for a year and if we had been their parents from birth it would be a little better. Who knows Link would probably still be a crazy little ape child. When I meet with developmental therapists for the kids I have to bury down the anger that I have that my kids will have to deal with the effects of the actions of a woman that they will never know. When I look at family history I have to acknowledge that one day my kids will want to meet that woman and I will need to be there for them during that search and then stand by and hope that they remember my love. I am also shocked a bit at how princess still worries about us disappearing. If her dad has to work a double she asks where her daddy is and if he is still going to come home or asks if we are still mommy and daddy. Or how she still has a fear of groups and people that look a certain way. I know that this will get better with time but it does not stop my heart from stopping just for a moment and breaking for this young girl that has lived through a hell for most of her life. One day, I will look back on all this the same way I look back on the adoption drama and know that it is in the past and cannot hurt them anymore but for now I am still figuring things out. I try not to show it to others but there are still days when I just pray and hope that my love will be able to cure them forever.

Monday, May 10, 2010

My Mother’s Day!

First of all I want to wish everyone a happy mother’s day. I hope that all of you had a great Sunday. Several of my friends and family had their very first mother’s day this year and I am so excited for them! Me, this is my 9th Mother’s day and I still find it fun and here is why.

5:30am: Beau sneaks into my room and wakes me up to give me two dry pieces of toast with a smile, wink and a kiss to sweeten the deal. He then snuck back out to play video games.

6:15am: Beau sneaks back in to ask me if he can make breakfast for the younger ones and put on a movie so that I can sleep a little longer.

7:00am: Alarm goes off telling me it is time to get ready for church. I also eat the dry toast so that Beau knows that it was a wonderful gift.

9:00am: Actually made it to church on time.

9:15am: Accidently hit Beau in the head with a tray and then Link decides to spray me with his water. All the while my husband is laughing so hard that the people in the pews around us are looking at my family like we are crazy.

I could keep going on but anyone that knows my kids or my husband or even me knows that we had a great time together. My kids kept the fighting down to a bare minimum. My husband made a great steak dinner. My oldest son made sure I got lots of ice cream and the younger two said that my kisses were what they love the most about me. 10 years ago I was under the impression that I would never be a mother because of fertility problems little did I know that I would in fact be a mother to many. I have 3 children of my own and have fostered 12 children that will always have a small part of my heart. I wished my kids a happy kids day right before bed and when Beau looked at me I reminded him that without my kids I would not be celebrating Mother’s day at all. I love my kids and I love being a mother. I might not be your typical mom but I don’t think I have messed things up too bad. I guess we will see when my kids are grown and telling their kids what it was like to have me for a mom.